The Dreaded 2WW

What the heck is 2WW,  you ask? Well – long story short, it stands for “2 week wait.”

To further explain, it’s the latter half of the month after a female’s ovulation has taken place. The time between (potential) conception & (missed) period. The calm before the storm… or if you’re actively TTC, the longest two weeks of waiting to Pee On A Stick (POAS) to see if you’ve conceived that month!

Mr.DJW and I are anxiously hoping for good news, but taking everything in stride that we’re still pretty early in our journey and that it’s not the time to stress nor fret about any news at all.

What hasn’t helped cool my ever increasing baby fever is our weekly addiction to “Teen Mom 2.” Yup- I said it, OUR weekly addiction. I’ve watched TM/TM2 on/off since the shows started, but this season – I’ve got Mr.DJW hooked! He confesses that he finds the up and down drama of Jenelle & Keifer quite entertaining, but if he read this blog post; I’m sure he’d be mortified that I shared this fact with you all!

It’s my guilty pleasure and while I don’t approve or disapprove of the show and its premise, it’s an eye opening show, especially the first season of both casts. I understand both sides of the argument on how people feel about either show; I’m not here for a debate. I just know that from season 1 to now, my feelings have changed as I’ve progressed as a woman, wife throughout the last few years. I remember when the first Teen Mom episode aired. Mr.DJW and I had just moved in together, engaged a few months. I was lost in the world of wedding planning, starting a new job, law schooling; and needless to say - having a baby was the last thing on my mind. It boggled my mind that these teenagers were moms. Their hardships, struggles were something I couldn’t fathom at 26, let along 16, 17, 18.

This season of TM2, I find myself much more critical of these young moms. While I commend those who are doing everything they can at their age, I am utterly disgusted by the others who are still immature and cling onto the “Teen” moreso than the “Mom” part of their life. I think what drives my anger and empty judgments is the fact that I know so many women, who are far more mature, ready, and financially set in raising babies, yet their TTC journeys have been marred by struggle and heartache.

As with anything in life, nothing’s fair and not everything makes sense. And I’d like to believe that it all is a part of His greater plan for each of us. As Mr.DJW and I continue our journey, I’m making a mental note to be grateful of every part of this journey. Through the laughs, tears, happiness, and sadness – I’m ready to face what’s to come (check back with me in a year and see if I’ve still got the appreciation sans baby).

Have a great HUMP day dears!

– Do you watch TM? Reality TV? (I’m a sucker and Reality TV is my guilty pleasure.)

Roller Coaster

I’ve always told my single girlfriends that marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies (but that it is ALL WORTH IT). I wish I would’ve known to tell myself that about the TTC journey. While I don’t want to go into too much detail, as to respect Mr.DJW’s privacy, we’ve run into an unexpected hiccup in our new journey that has put a temporary damper on TTC for both of us. I’m not whining because there are so many other problems that we could face and so many of my friends have been on a painful journey of TTC, but it’s the fear of the unknown that scares me most.

I don’t want to depress you or worry you, Mr.DJW went to the doctor and is currently on medication to take care of things. But, please keep him in your thoughts and prayers, if you have spare room. <3 Your support is what gets me through these times!

As always, it’s too soon in our journey for me to get down about anything and luckily I have a personal day from work to spend some me-time and re-energize in all aspects of my life. I had a great workout with Mr.DJW last night and I’m just about to finish up some work and house cleaning to workout again.

I’ll be needing a Starbucks later today to get me through some aggressive Christmas shopping. It’s the little things that keep me smiling.

And to end on a cheery note: HAPPY DECEMBER (from Bailey & Buddy) – our furbabies are so spoiled that they got an international package of doggy advent calendar treats from my cousin’s gf in Germany!

They look miserable in their coats… LOLOLOL I torture them too much.

Next Chapter

Mrs.JYW & Mr.DJW sittin’ in [by] a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…

First comes LOVE

Then comes MARRIAGE

Then comes BABY in the baby carriage.

(This baby looks close enough to a half Polish/German & half Korean mix, no? )

So here we are, 1 year & 2 months into our wedded bliss, happily embarking on the next chapter of our lives! **NO WE ARE NOT PREGNANT YET!!!!!** Again, **NO WE ARE NOT PREGNANT YET!!!!!**

There’s a plethora of resources and endless amounts of information when it comes to all things BABY, but I wanted to start by blogging about how we got here, the decision to “try to conceive.”

Our original plan was to wait until after our 2 year anniversary in 2012. We, of course, had a list of “to-do”s to accomplish before planning for babies. Our list was no different than any other couple in our shoes. We wanted to be settled into our first home, pay down our debts, and have a comfortable nest egg “In Case of Emergency.”

Luckily, we were blessed to have purchased our home a year prior to our wedding day. (*Mr.DJW actually proposed on our final walk through night before closing.) The first year was spent getting settled in, putting in $$ for maintenance repairs, and just getting used to the bills and responsibilities of home ownership. We also spent that first year paying for part of our wedding. Needless to say, we weren’t financially stable and wanted to spend some “us” time together enjoying marriage without babies.

Our wedding day came and went; our first year of marriage flew by just as fast. Throughout the year, Mr.DJW and I would catch baby fever at different times and shake each other out of it. With both of our grad school programs + full time work, we just couldn’t justify trying to have babies in 2011.

However, when my 28th birthday rolled around this past August, we had “future baby” talks with our parents over a family birthday dinner. Both of us couldn’t shake the adorable images of our dads holding tiny lil’ babies out of our heads and Mr.DJW got really excited about big family trips to Disney World. That’s when both of us caught the fever, together,AT. THE. SAME. TIME! It was hard to shake it out of our system. But, we got a hold of ourselves and left the baby plans just as we had planned: try in September 2012.

A month later during our 1 year anniversary trip to Cabo, our fever came back on fire! All of the couples we’d met on our trip were ALL trying. (They’d gotten married in September 2010 as well.) We were surrounded by baby talk and when we got back, it’s all we could talk about, outside of our normal duties of work/home life. We realized that checklist of “to-do”s we had were all achieved, but one: my grad school degree (which had already changed due to my dropping out of law school and switching to an MBA program). I knew that my flexible program could work well within our timeline for baby making and so we started to have serious talks.

We started throwing around timelines, what season I’d prefer to be pregnant, how to get in our best shape, etc. From there we’d decided that even though we were anxious and eager to start trying, we wanted to make sure that we did all of the right things in preparation and that the start of the new year would give us time to get off medication (BC, etc.), start a manageable and achievable workout regiment, and enjoy the holidays before diving into full-on baby making mode.

So, here we are. October was the month that we really started making baby steps toward the baby making journey, but I’ll recap that in a future post. We’re currently NTNTC (not trying not to conceive) with plans to actively TTC (try to conceive) in January 2012!

Here’s to all things TTC & BABY! CHEERS!

– Do you want to have children or have children? How did you decide?

Confessional: Life Decisions

Hey, blog friends!

If you read my blog a few weeks ago, you might’ve seen this sad entry about big life decisions that had come my way.

Since last May, I have been going to law school at night after working the 830a-5p jobby job in pursuit of fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming a HOTSHOT LAWYA.

After a lot of time thinking, talking, lists of pros/cons – Mr.DJW and I decided that after this term (my third) is over, I will be dropping out of law school and starting business school to obtain my MBA in the fall. (SUMMER VACATION! WOOT! WOOT!)

It took a lot of effort on my part to weigh out the pros / cons of each option and also considering the reality of the job market and future of the economy in Detroit/Michigan. We also took  into consideration our future family plans, my work/life/school balance, and other important factors.

It took me a couple of weeks to make my final decision, but since I have made it, I cannot be a happier person.

It makes sense for so many reasons and puts our life on the track we want it to be, both for myself professionally and us as a family unit.

With the overwhelming support of both sets of parents, my brother, and my close friends, we are so excited for the next few years of our life together and all that it has to offer us and more.

The most exciting part, aside from economic/career/etc. reasons, is that Mr.DJW and I will  officially TTC (try to conceive) starting in the Fall of 2012 after our 2nd  year anniversary. We are thrilled to have a timeline/plan in mind and can’t wait to get the most of the next 1.5 – 2 years as a couple, as we prepare to build our family in the future.

After my last law school final on April 17th, I will have four glorious months of summer just working my 830a-5pm and studying for the GMAT (late May/early June) and applying to four different MBA programs (July). I can use the mental break and I can’t wait to get fired up for business school in September!

Thanks to all of you that listened to me whine, vent, rationalize, and gab your ear off with all this school crap. You guys are my sanity.

Forgiveness

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I am a very stubborn person. For this reason, forgiveness has never been one of my strong suits. Whether it is forgiving others and especially forgiving myself, I usually avoid the actual act of forgiveness and move on with my life. Forgive & Forget? I’m great at the latter, not the first. It’s not a great quality. But, it’s me and I’ve come to accept it throughout the years.

I’d like to think also that I have grown in my 20s and have been able to learn that forgiveness is a huge part of life, specifically in a Christian “way of life.” I believe that Jesus Christ forgives me, yet I am unable to give that back to myself or others around me in return? That sounds a little too selfish and hypocritical in my book and for that reason alone, I am taking this chance to forgive myself for something I’ve held onto for a really long time.

I did the college-tour for my undergraduate degree. 18 and fresh out of high school, I left home, for a school 3,000+ miles away to a lovely beach town called: Malibu, California.

(Source)

It’d always been my dream to live in LALA-land; and with the scholarship from Pepperdine University, I flew away to chase my dreams!

*pause, this story does not end how’d you expect it to.*

I only lasted a year. I actually came back home to Michigan. I gave up 365 days of sunshine, for 5 months of snow. Hey, I was 19 and thought I was in love and saving my parents $$$$$. (Needless to say, I am not with the ex-boyfriend that I came back home for in 2003.)

Back home, I did my tour of the community colleges in two counties for my sophomore/junior year and ended up graduating from a local college, Wayne State University in 2006. Luckily, even with my visits to 4+ schools I was able to graduate “on time.”

But, because of my tour of several schools – I never truly felt like I was a part of any one school I attended. Needless to say, I didn’t walk during WSU’s ceremony of 2006  and I didn’t graduate from the notable “University of Michigan,” like the rest of my cousins and younger brother.

I always wished that I had chosen to stay home and gone to a 4 year state school and had the whole “college experience.” But, that was something I got over rather quickly. I mean, I got to live in Cali for a year, and I walked away with one of my lifelong best friends from that experience.

The hardest thing I’ve never forgiven myself for is that I didn’t give my parents the chance to see me walk my college graduation. They both worked so hard to put me through school and provided me every chance and opportunity that they never had growing up. I mean, I’m proud that I do have a college degree, but I always regretted never giving my parents that proud moment of “that’s my daughter, she’s a college graduate.”

I never forgave myself for it. In fact, I’ve tried in the years since to “make-up” for it by trying to do everything else above and beyond the norm. They’re still probably one of my top reasons for working full-time and going to law school at night. You know, making  up for that missed college graduation, with the law school graduation in a couple of years.

For all the avoiding I’ve done of this issue, I am taking the time to forgive myself right now.

me: “I’m sorry I didn’t walk my graduation. I’m sorry I didn’t graduate from Michigan.”

me: “It’s okay. You’ve turned out just fine. Your parents love you just the same. I forgive you.”