Conundrum

So I’ve hit that wall.

You know the one that you read a few months after one of your fave bloggers has a baby and decides they need to reconsider their blog and its future?

Yep. That’s where I’m at.

I don’t put myself even remotely close to any of the widely followed bloggers or even say that I have followers outside of my small circle of friends. Regardless, I’ve been battling with this thought back and forth for the last few months. And even before A joined us. I knew that I’d hit this point and now I’m at a loss as to what the resolution will be for me.

Mr.Dubs is a non-interwebs person. He’s always respected my love for it and finds it amusing/amazing that I have such great friendships and resources in my online circle. However, he also is weary of sharing “too much” online and I get that. Especially when it concerns our child.

On the other hand, I’ve also benefited from continuing A’s monthly updates on here. When I fall behind in his baby book, this blog is what I look to to fill in the gaps. My postpartum updates keep me motivated to keep up my healthy eating/work outs. And as an aside, I appreciate every comment I receive and I enjoy that I’m able to share small details of life with my friends through this blog.

I think whether it’s 3 posts a week or 1 post a month, I want to keep it going for at least the first year and then decide at that juncture to either close it down or at least go 100% private. Until then, I guess I will do as I have been, and write when I feel like it or have time. And most definitely in the least, upkeep A’s monthly updates and my postpartum fitness updates.

Thanks for reading. All five of you. <3

As an aside, if you follow me on other social media– I am trying to get more private as well, so sorry for the confusion if there are name changes, locks, etc.

AJ: 4 Months

Baby’s Weight: I think he’s near 16 lbs? We have an old school baby scale that we use to get estimates and he weighed 16 lbs a few nights ago. His 4 month well checkup is next Thursday, so we’ll know for sure then.

Baby’s Height: Somewhere past the 2 ft. mark, only because I stood him next to the growth chart in his room. :P

What size of clothing does baby wear?: 3-6 and 6 month clothes. Onesies and shirts fit him okay in either size, his pants are better if they’re 6 month+!

Any milestones baby reached during the month: A had his first burst of baby laughter! He has also been grabbing for toys and playing with his hands.

A also hit his 100 day mark this month. In Korean tradition, the 100 days celebration signifies the 1st year of baby’s life (including the months in utero). It’s the first of many milestone birthdays (100 days, 1 year, 60, 70) that are celebrated in Korea. We had a small dinner with our family and friends.

Special outings baby had during the month: Auntie Jesi’s Bridal Shower, going to the store, ILs, daily outings are a norm now!

What was baby’s routine: His routine is the same as last month, but we had our run-in with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. Luckily, A only had a few nights of interrupted sleep and is now back to his normal STTN sleep. We are so, so blessed!

Did any big changes occur: 4 month regression (short-lived), High-chair, etc.

What are baby’s favorites: FISH TANK! I know I mentioned it previously, but now he is just ALL about it. My mom sits him in his high chair and he’ll sit and watch for over an hour! Tracking the fishes, kicking his legs when he gets excited, talks to them.

What are your thoughts about the past month: This is the month that I realized that I “can do it all.” While it makes me sad time to time that I spend 8+ hours away from my baby on my office days, these last few weeks back at work made me realize just how much I can handle and how much I love being a work out of the home mom. On top of the fact I am so lucky to be able to work from home two days a week.

A is such a sweet baby. So laid back and easy going. Still sleeping well at night. Growing by leaps and bounds and becoming so aware of his surroundings. Seriously, his baby laughter is the sweetest, purest sound in the world.

Monthly Photos:

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Little moments

In the past 16 weeks since baby A entered my life, I’ve experienced an entire new world of emotions.

Now that I’ve been back at work for a few weeks, it seems like time is flying by even faster than those fleeting weeks of maternity leave.

My baby is no longer a newborn. And much to my surprise I am starting to get the hang of being the best mom I can be to my son. (Though I have a plethora of mistakes to make and lessons to learn.)

In the midst of life’s ever growing ‘busy’ness, I’ve become that much more appreciative of the lil moments that make our life so fulfilling.

Yesterday, I heard the purest of all sounds on this entire planet. Baby A’s laughter. I was lucky enough to be working from home and took a break to change his diaper while my mom was washing his bottles. I was letting him air dry and instantly I became (insert your fave comedian here). A got the full on baby belly laughs and couldn’t stop giggling. In that momentous, yet fleeting moment, I was so overcome with joy that I couldn’t hold back the tears.

And then I realized, this is just the first of so many moments that has given my life an entirely new meaning and reason.

It is such an incredible blessing that He’s given me. The calling to be a mom, the calling to be baby A’s mom. Every fiber of my being was created to be his mom. And I’m that much more sure of it, each passing day.

(Then Mr.Dubs arrived home and my heart melted again when I witnessed baby A’s pure laughter at his daddy’s jokes and tickles.)

Infant Sleep: 4 month regression (Wakeful Period)

So last I left you, we had ourselves a STTNer. And we did, consistently from Feb 13 – March 7, A slept from 7-7 (give or take 30 minutes).

His nighttime routine consists of: bath, diaper, lotion/massage, (sometimes) story, nursing, burp, crib/sleep.

Then BAM, out of nowhere last Thursday, A had a nighttime waking.

Actually, when I heard him crying on the monitor, I thought he had startled himself and was  up a half hour early (630am) from his normal wake time. He normally doesn’t cry in the AM. So I went over to the nursery, grabbed him, brought him to bed to nurse, was confused because my boobs didn’t feel full, then checked my phone to realize that it was actually only 130am!!!!!! WHAT A SHOCKER.

After I inadvertently nursed him, I put him back to sleep in his crib and he subsequently woke up at 330 and 5am. DREAD. I nursed him both times and woke up completely exhausted and confused. Then as I woke up out of my groggy state, I knew immediately that this was probably the 4 month regression that I had often heard about from mamas and online parenting boards.

A has always hit most of his growth spurts earlier than average wks, so I wasn’t surprised when he’d hit this at just around 3.5 months/15 weeks.

I frantically googled, twittered, hellobeed — and was bewildered that there wasn’t an answer. Even though most baby-related things are definitely custom to each individual baby, there were usually guidelines, books, and just a plethora of information on the web. Nope, not on sleep regressions. While I read thoroughly on what they were, how wonder weeks are associated to them, etc. I couldn’t find anything about a cure!

Aside from “time/this too shall pass/he’ll grow out of it,” the only resolution that most parents choose is to sleep-train if/when regression hits. However, this didn’t apply to us. A has always been good at putting himself to sleep and staying asleep. We’d also night-weaned.

Boy, was I confused as to what to do–

And so for the first time in my 3.5 months of motherhood, I left it up to the sleep gods, said a quick prayer each night (seriously) and hoped that we would be lucky enough for him to grow out of it (and quickly!)

We still kept up his normal bedtime routine and put him to bed at the same time (7/730) or earlier, even through Daylight Savings Time.

This is what A’s sleep has looked since last Thursday night:

Thursday – down at 730pm, awake at 130am (nursed), awake at 330am (nursed), awake at 530am (nursed)

Friday – down at 730pm, awake at 3am (pacied), awake at 500am (pacied), awake at 7am (nursed) (up for the day)

Saturday – down at 7pm, awake at at 545am (new time, so tech 445am)  (nursed)

Sunday – down at 730pm, awake at 4am (pacied), awake at 7am (nursed) (up for the day)

Monday – down at 7pm, awake at 520am (nursed)

Tuesday – down at 7pm, awake at 650am (nursed) (up for the day)

I’ll let you know how the rest of this week goes, but it’s gradually gotten better and back to his normal sleep routine. Let me also add, that during this past week, his naps haven’t been affected by the regression. A’s not a great napper and we’ve never pushed since he sleeps so well at night. Usually takes 1 long nap and several catnaps (30-45 min) throughout the day, most days. The days that aren’t marked with an “up for the day,” usually meant that I nursed him on both sides and made him sleep longer in bed with me (at least until the sun was up).

I don’t have any tricks or secrets. I do know that I’m glad we stuck to our routine and didn’t change his bedtime routine or time. I’m also glad that after the first night of fluke nursing, I was able to use the paci to get him back down to sleep. And it wasn’t just popping in a paci and him magically falling back asleep. It usually took at least five minutes for him to take the paci and sometimes we’d pat/shush him back to lala-land. He wasn’t ever hungry, but more alert and fidgety with his hands. I didn’t want to get stuck in night nursing again and am so grateful that A didn’t let his sleep regression hinder his eating schedule. (5-6 times a day/25-30 oz. daily)

So here’s to hoping that last night’s trend keeps going and we get settled back to our regular sleep schedule.

 

Postnatal Fitness: March Update

So, in February – I started a modified Paleo diet. 85/15 Paleo – I cut out all grains, pasta, dairy, processed foods and started to eat a lot of protein, veggies, and fruits. Exercise pretty much went down the tube this month because I was more out and about with A and also wanted to spend as much time snuggling him before work started. (AKA, I got lazy and used my baby as an excuse). However, the major change in my diet has helped me feel so much better and has helped to keep the weight loss going, despite my lack of exercise.

Even two days in, I noticed a major change. At the end of the day, there was no belly bloat, and I felt more energized throughout the day even on little sleep!

In lieu of DVD workouts, I have been out mall-walking, etc. a lot more with A. And I’ve been pretty good about sticking to the 85/15 Paleo regiment. I still allow room for snacks like a skinny latte from Starbucks. While rice is a staple in our home, I’ve enjoyed eating protein heavy salads for lunch and at dinner, substituted lettuce for rice. I make lettuce wraps out of our usual protein entree and veggie sides. The first couple days were hard, but now I’m more conscious of what I put into my body and it gets easier every week. I also don’t feel the urge to “cheat” because of the 15% and am fuller now than I’ve ever been before eating a lot of hardy meats and healthy, fresh veggies/fruits.

And lo and behold, on February 16th – I fit into my prepreg jeans!! (@136 lbs. jeans) Who knew the power of jeans? I felt alive! Human! OMG I’m not wearing leggings or yoga pants anymore!! :P

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It feels great to be in my prepreg jeans, without having to fight myself to get them on or zip them up. Aside from those bootcut jeans above, I also now fit into 3 more pairs of prepreg jeans and work pants! I haven’t had to buy anything new for work which has been a blessing. My selection is still limited, but with working from home a couple days a week and casual office days on Fridays, I’m golden!

In addition, I started running one mile a few times a week since about mid-February. Nothing regimented or structured. But if I can find time or energy, I try to do a quick 10 minute mile on the treadmill and sweat out the day’s stress.

I still eat a ton and probably need to work on ab workouts, because underneath that blouse is some major spare tire action.

A typical day of meals looks like this:

Breakfast: Omelette, Bacon, OJ

Lunch: Dinner leftovers or a fresh salad

Dinner: Usually lettuce wraps with a protein entree, sauteed veggie sides

Snacks: Fruit, baked sweet potato, nuts

Stats

My normal: 128 lbs

Pre-pregnancy: 136 lbs (+8)

Pregnancy: 174 lbs (+46)

Post-pregnancy: 162 lbs (+34) (6 weeks pp)

LAST UPDATE: 157 lbs (+29) (10 weeks pp)

TODAY: 152 lbs (+24) (14 weeks pp)

Goal: 16 lbs ’til Pre-Preg weight | 24 lbs+ ’til GOAL weight :)